In summary, my understanding of “despot of the oikos” is that God has delegated the headship of marriage to the man and management of the home to the woman.

The man is the leader, but she is the manager. Men usually don’t understand the freedom that God gave to the woman by the specific choice of the word “despot.” There are many other Greek words that the Holy Spirit could have chosen which would have greatly limited that authority, but He didn’t. A cursory study of the usage of “despot” in Scriptures and Greek literature demonstrates the extent of the authority.

The Spirit of God also clearly described the context of that authority by the word “oikos.” When one does a complete Greek study of “oikos” in Scripture and Greek literature, it represents far more than merely the four walls-or cooking, washing, and picking up the clothes.

Instead, “oikos” most frequently refers to the house and all of the surrounding property including the servants. Thus, the Bible delegates the management of the house, its surrounding environs, and any working “servants” directly connected to that location to the wife (under the final headship of the husband).

This grammatical and historical definition of this compound word also provides a Biblical context to understand the Proverbs 31 woman. How can we interpret “she considers a field and buys it” in light of the very limited understanding of the average Christian husband who would never permit her to do so. Additionally, how could we interpret “From her profits she plants a vineyard” if she has no profits? There are many other points in Proverbs 31 (every commentator I’ve ever read openly states to be the ideal wife-but I have yet to hear any pastor or teacher actually teach that is exactly what the Christian wife is to do!) which fit the despot and oikos model.

I have spent considerable time and research on this issue before placing it in the “Heart that Makes the Home” video series-and have received only very positive feedback from the vast number of churches, denominations, and ministries that have used it over the years.

Hopefully these short comments will bring understanding in the matter.

Sincerely,

Bruce Wilkinson

Johannesburg, South Africa